Pride

Well here I am again, another sleepless night. As I look up at the wall the clock reads 3:05 am. I am more awake at the moment then I was all day long. I hear lack of sleep takes off years of ones life so after several days/nights of this I guess my life will drastically be cut alot shorter.

My youngest called me earlier in the evening and asked if I would babysit again and at the time she called I could barely keep my eyes open but now as it turns out, I'm awake and I could of watched her. As the days are getting shorter and the nights are getting colder I know that winter is soon to set in and the snow covered streets will be surrounding us. That is why I told myself that I wanted to babysit as much as possible before the roads become to dangerous for them to drive all the way into town to drop her off. I messed up tonight's chance but actually she wouldn't of gotten here until way past her bedtime so I wouldn't of been able to do anything but watch her sleep so I guess I don't feel too bad over it. I do feel bad because I had to turn down my daughter's chance at going out with her husband.

Anyways, with it being this late there's not much to do to keep myself occupied but chance had it that I had to locate some paperwork so I started digging around and came acrossed my parents lockbox. I haven't really been in it after all these years so it was very interesting once I got it open and started looking at the contents. I pulled out a piece of paper that was folded a few times, I unfolded it and I couldn't believe what it was. It was the actual certificate of my father's discharge from the Army! I can't believe just how proud I am over that 1 piece of paper. After studying it for a half hour or longer I went right into the bedroom to show Michael. It didn't take him but a few seconds to exclaim "WOW!" Look at all the medals he recieved! Well I have to take his word for it because I have no idea what they all are. All I know is there are several different ones listed.

I knew some stuff about my father's military experience but not veryt much at all. He did NOT like to talk about it and with his age , I think he felt it wasn't something a little girl should hear about. Mostly because alot of it was very gruesome and heartbreaking for him. One thing I did know was that he was a medic. Just knowing that insured me that he had seen some horrific sights. One thing I didn't know was that he was a surgical technician! Now he did tell my husband war stories but not even he let on exactly what they were. In fact to this day I still haven't heard it all and I'm not sure I really want to.

Here is a list of the honors he recieved.
1. Victory Medal
2. Asiatic Pacific Theater Ribbon w/3 Bronze Battle Stars
3. Bronze Service Arrowhead
4. Philippine Liberation Ribbon w/1 Bronze Battlestar
5. 4 Overseas Bars
6. Bronze Good Conduct Medal

He was listed as a TEC 4 in the Infantry, a MED DET 151st. I don't know what that is either but I'm sure my son will be able to tell me. I am so excited, I can't hardly wait for morning to come so I can call my son and tell him what I found!

I realized that I have never really wrote anything about my son. I am so very proud of my only son and I know in my heart that my father would be just as proud of him. Following his footsteps by enlisting in the Army. I have to admit that there was a time when I was dead set against my son even thinking about joining. In fact he knew how set against it I was and was in the ROTC in school for a long time without me knowing. After I found out and was finally invited by him to attend a ceremony I was so very proud to see him standing there in his uniform. Of course with him soon to turn old enough to sign up I wasn't gonna tell him just how proud I was. I mean I told him but I never told him the entire thing or he would of thought I was ok with the idea of enlistment. Even years later he knew that I did NOT want him joining the service. He was so scared of me finding out that he waited until I was out of the state and not soon to get home when he called me on the phone and told me he enrolled. I was so mad, so hurt and so scared when he told me. But once I got over the initial shock I was proud that he loved this country so much that he wanted to defend it. I don't know how I could be anymore proud but after finding my dad's Honorable Discharge and reading it, I AM more proud and I want him to know it.

Changing gears now, as you've heard before I have problems with menopause. I am playing musical window again tonight. It's a Friday night 4:05 in the morning, the window is open and I just heard 4 gunshots not too far off in the distance. Lately it has become just about a nightly occurance. It just reminds me of how much I hate living here. I want so much to move away from this place, away from the sounds of the city. Out where it's safer. then as my mind starts going in that direction, again I am drawn to that awful memory of losing my dreamhouse. So that is my cue for stopping on my writing for the time being. My eyes are finally starting to get blurry and my eyelids are getting heavy so maybe I will be able to at least take a nap.